is My anger masking Undiagnosed ADHD?
Anger is a very natural part of life, and, in fact, often times it is what saves us, saves us from physical harm and also emotional damage. But, using anger as the only emotion to express ourselves isn’t always healthy, in fact, it can actually harm our health, disrupt our lives, and negatively impact our relationships. I know it has for me. For as far back as I can remember, my go-to emotion has been anger, and the funny thing is i’m not really angry most of the time, it’s just the one emotion I feel comfortable expressing. Most of the time what I’m really feeling is frustration, embarrassment, sadness, basically all boiling down to one inescapable truth, in those moments I am feeling a lack of control.
Pixar’s Anger
This is a physical manifestation of how I feel most of the team
Sometimes it’s control of what and when I eat, or how to do my job, but the worst is when it is a loss of control over my life, that’s when I think the anger bubbles up the most. Recently, i’ve come to believe I may have ADHD, as per usual, women’s symptoms are far different than men’s, which are the symptoms we are all familiar with. The first sign that ADHD could be the root of my problems was when a friend of mine gave me a few Adderall to try. She said she had the same symptoms and they helped her, which seems counterintuitive given what we think we know about ADHD. But, all of the traditional anxiety/anger medication not only didn’t work for me, they all did the complete opposite and put me immediately into the most severe state of anxiety and anger. And then, I tried my friend’s Adderall and it was like I could finally see all the colors of the rainbow everybody else could see but were previously a dull grey to me.
ADHD and anger
There was a time when anger was acknowledged as a symptom of ADHD. In the United Kingdom, for example, ADHD was known as a “disorder of anger and aggression.” That isn’t the case anymore, but many therapists do understand that for many people, anger is part of the cycle and that it can cause severe damage to a patient’s psyche and relationships. But, here is the most interesting, if not surprising, part, ADHD can present very differently in women and girls than in boys and men and the signs and symptoms we are all the most familiar with, you guessed it, aren’t necessarily the ADHD symptoms most prevalent for us.
Signs and Symptoms of ADHD in Women & Girls
ADHD can present very differently in women and girls than it does in boys and men. It’s important to know what the signs and symptoms are.
a day in the life….
Strong emotion is quite difficult for those with ADHD to deal with, researchers call this condition emotional dysregulation. In fact, approx 70% of people with ADHD have some degree of emotional dysregulation. It’s a result of a difference in neurodevelopment.
Signs of emotional dysregulation:
You feel a persistent, low-grade hum of irritability.
Pretty much 24/7 for me
You feel grumpy, as though something unpleasant is brewing inside.
All the time
You feel impatient when you’re under stress.
Impatience is literally my biggest flaw
You feel a sudden surge of anger when you’re frustrated in pursuit of a goal — whether it’s a major life goal or an everyday goal like trying to get a lid unstuck or a solve a complex math problem.
Describes me to a T
You feel emotions intensely. Sometimes, the degree of emotion you feel is out of proportion to the situation that sparks it.
Only the bad emotions; Anger, Frustration, Irritability
You may have explosive bursts of anger.
These have become folklore in my family
You might have a hard time expressing your anger verbally, which can lead to even more frustration.
Even with my degree in Communication Studies, I flounder, stutter, and struggle for words when I am in the heat of an argument
You might not notice other people’s feelings, or you might misinterpret them.
This is the only one I don’t relate to. In fact, I am very empathetic, meaning, much like tofu, I soak up whatever environment I am put in
You might find it easier to feel and express anger or sadness than you do other feeling
See above for how spot on this is for me
The Irritability Factor:
Irritability and ADHD appear to go hand in hand. In one recent study involving 696 children with ADHD, 91 percent had at least one symptom of irritability. In this study, researchers found that irritability was associated with both anxiety and depression symptoms.
Luckily, depression is not an issue for me, it’s very situational so I don’t struggle with that, thank God! Studies show that medication and psychotherapy have both been effective in calming irritability in people with ADHD. I’ve tried both, a bit. I do find some relief with the medication but, as of yet, I either haven’t found success with psychotherapy, or I just haven’t found the right therapist. And, I haven’t even been legitimately diagnosed with ADHD, which is something I’d really like to know for sure.
Where Do I Go From Here?
Honestly, that is a question I do not have the answer to, and maybe that’s ok, at least for now. Maybe the first step has been in opening my mind to a broader range of possibilities and not just continuing to believe the old narrative I told myself, i’m just not a very nice person.
What about you, have you experienced any of the things I described? If so, how do you deal with it?
